Often in my life I've felt restricted or limited by phrases that begin with "you can't." It's something I've heard often in my childhood. I didn't realize the harm of those words. Those phrases were formed from someone else's fear projection and their own limiting beliefs. As a child I wanted to explore and take risks but was shut down many times by authority figures, guardians etc. That oppression left me hesitant, fearful and ignorant of my true capabilities.
All the pursuits in my life from entertainment, fitness, philanthropy, romantic love and adventure...all have a high degree of risk. Every time I go on an audition there's the risk that I'm gonna drop my lines or get flat out rejected. Every time I sing there's a chance that I'm going to forget the words or hit a bad note. In my songwriting....maybe write a song that no one connects to or is illogical. When I work out there's a chance I might injure myself or someone else. When I'm doing a charitable deed there's a chance that I might leave someone out or not meet a goal. My partner might not be available for sex or our connection might not feel as strong in the moment. But what if......all these pursuits go in my favor?
Sometimes I need a reminder of who I am. I talk to God on a daily basis. A God of my understanding, a loving, supportive, generous and kind God. I had to fire the fear based, punitive and mean God that the authority figures lauded over me when I wasn't being the "good boy" or had an imagination beyond their capacity. I now have the encouragement that I need to take risks and go after the abundant life I desire. When I forget who I am....God gives me the reminder that I'm Benjamin Hey! He tells me that the opinions of others don't matter. It's no one's business. I then take a pause and look at all of the evidence around me. Out of a million swimmers...I reached the egg. Every hardship that has come my way..I've been brought through. Even when I didn't think things would work out of for me....things worked out. My perspective is that I've already won at life. I was put on this earth to pursue my dreams and now I'm doing it without hesitation. I would love in my lifetime to have a Billboard Hot 100 #1 credit as an artist/songwriter but that's not in my control. What is in my control is the thoughts that I listen to. The biggest lesson I'm learning is that when I have limits on my beliefs and when I listen to limiting language...chances are my results will be limited. Today I'm swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction. I'm expecting my dream to come to fruition in a God sized way.
I made the decision to throw out beliefs/thoughts/rules that don't work for me. "You can't....you won't & you're not supposed to" phrases are fading fast from my vocabulary. When they enter into my psyche I say the word "STOP!" Then I come back with proof that that thought is false. You're a black man from the hood...you're not gonna go far. STOP I've made it out the hood and I'm a black College grad with my own business and I'm debt free! You're divorced.....you're not gonna have love.... STOP! I'm in a 4+ year loving relationship with my guy ; ) You're too old...you can't....blah blah blah blah STOP! Age doesn't mean shit these days. Nobody cares what you have to say. STOP! People are reading this now, following me on social media, engaging etc.
You see where I'm going with this? Whatever the "you can't" is attached to in your head...go combat those thoughts with a "STOP!" and then offer yourself proof that you can and you will. We all have evidence we can. It's right in front of our face if we look hard enough. If you follow along my journey hopefully I can inspire you to throw out the thoughts/rules/beliefs that no longer serve your life!
- Benjamin Hey!....Leader of The Hey!Team
Come be a part of the #Hey!Team and support "LAX"